


The Best Defense is a Good Offense

by tablelamp



Category: Grace and Frankie (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-01-24 13:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18572434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tablelamp/pseuds/tablelamp
Summary: Grace and Frankie decide to pretend to be in a relationship to make clear to Robert and Sol what they've lost.  But pretending has its own complications...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



"I have an idea," Frankie said.

Grace checked her watch and held back an impatient sigh. "Is it an idea that'll get us to Larry's funeral on time?"

"Better," Frankie said.

"We really don't have time to--"

"You'll like this," Frankie said.

Grace doubted that, but she also knew that if she didn't let Frankie tell her, they might never get out the door. "All right. What?"

"You said you wanted Sol and Robert to know what they're missing. I know a way to double that. What if we pretend to be together?"

Grace waited for Frankie to laugh or admit that her suggestion was a joke, but neither happened. Frankie just stood there with a smile on her face as though she'd solved deforestation. "Frankie, no."

"Frankie yes," Frankie said, smile widening. "Think about it. Sol and Robert expect all the attention to be on them, but at least some of the people at Larry's funeral already know about them. What they don't know about is us."

"That's because there is no us," Grace said. "Not us in the sense of _us_."

"But they don't have to know that," Frankie said.

Grace didn't know if it was the stress of the moment or Frankie's wackiness rubbing off on her, but the idea wasn't unappealing...especially when she imagined the look on Robert's face. "They won't believe it."

"They'll have to when they see what we're like," Frankie said. "We're just another one of those couples who didn't like each other at the beginning and ended up together. Somewhere, Nora Ephron is smiling."

Grace gave Frankie a suspicious look. "But this is lying. I thought excessive honesty was kinda your thing."

Frankie's eyes filled with pain. "I'm trying to come up with a way to get through this afternoon without feeling as alone as I am. Is that okay with you?"

Grace had built a life based on ignoring her own feelings, but Frankie's openness with hers made it much harder to do that. Of course they would both feel alone at the funeral...deserted, lost. Grace couldn't fault Frankie for trying to find a way out of that feeling; she was trying to do the same thing.

"Suppose I say yes," Grace said warily. "We'd have to have some ground rules."

Frankie brightened. "Of course! Consent is important. Tell me what you like."

"Oh," Grace said. Somehow, she hadn't expected Frankie to agree so eagerly. "Well...uh..." She cleared her throat. "Can we talk about it in the car?" Not that it would be any easier there, but at least it would get them closer to their destination.

Frankie looked amused. "If you can't talk about this when I'm the only one in the room, there's no way we can pull this off."

"We're going to be late!" Grace said. Changing the subject from uncomfortable topics had served her well over the years.

But not this time. "So what? We only wanted to be early so we wouldn't see Robert and Sol. If we're going to be lovers, we want to see them, don't we?"

Grace sighed. "You have a point."

Frankie looked at her. "Were you this uncomfortable talking about things with Robert?"

"Robert and I didn't talk about things. We just did them," Grace said.

"But how did he know what you like?" Frankie asked, frowning now.

"He didn't. He just assumed I liked what he liked," Grace said. Put that way, and knowing what she now knew about the state of her marriage, it seemed impossible that she had thought the two of them were fine. But hindsight was 20/20, as the cliche went.

"Well, I'm different," Frankie said resolutely.

"That's for sure."

"I'm guessing you're probably not the world's biggest fan of PDAs."

That was an abrupt change of topic, but Grace could go with it. "Oh, I don't know. I had an Axim for a while."

Frankie looked mystified. "A what?"

"One of those little handheld digital assistant devices," Grace said.

"For the love of Jerry Garcia," Frankie said. "PDAs--public displays of affection, Grace!"

"Oh." Grace cleared her throat. "Well, that depends. I like touch. Being touched. I don't think I'd mind if you put your arm around me."

Frankie nodded. "I can do that. What else?"

Grace struggled to think of shows of affection that she'd be comfortable with. "Handholding is fine. Walking arm in arm."

"Kissing?" Frankie asked.

"On the cheek or quickly on the lips, yes. I won't be making out with you in the kitchen." And that was a sentence Grace could never have predicted she'd say to Frankie.

"Of course not," Frankie said. "There are much better places to make out."

"Frankie," Grace said in a warning tone.

Frankie made a 'calm down' gesture. "I hear you, I hear you. No tonsil hockey by the teakettle."

"Or anywhere else," Grace said. "My marriage just dissolved. I'm not ready for that kind of intimacy with anyone." She hadn't meant to say anything that revealing. Good grief, how did Frankie always slip inside her defenses?

Frankie's expression softened. "No, of course not. If it felt too real..." She shook her head. "I don't know how much reality I can handle right now."

"Yeah," Grace agreed. She looked down to check her watch and found herself staring at her hand instead. "Oh." She looked at Frankie.

Frankie looked at her hands and then understood. "Our wedding rings?"

"I don't know if I'd still be wearing mine if I were with you," Grace said. Although... "What size are your fingers?"

"Why? What have you heard?"

Grace made an exasperated face at Frankie, sliding off her wedding ring and handing it to Frankie. "Here. I think it'll fit on your pinkie if it doesn't fit your ring finger. And give me yours."

Frankie hesitated, then removed her own wedding ring, handing it to Grace. "This is all very Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice."

"No," Grace said, sliding Frankie's ring onto her own finger. "It's a symbol. Either it means we're wearing each other's rings on purpose, as a commitment, or we keep our rings together and were careless which one we put on this morning. Whatever people assume is fine with me."

Frankie stared at Grace. "How long have you been this kind of chess master?"

"Since I started spending most of my time with corporate contacts and lawyers," Grace said. "Are you ready?"

Frankie picked up her wrap. "No, but I'll go anyway."

Something occurred to Grace as they walked out to the car. "Wait, you didn't tell me what kind of touch you like."

"I'm fine with most things," Frankie said. "Just don't tickle me. I hate being tickled."

"Got it," Grace said, getting into the driver's seat. She looked at Frankie. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

Frankie nodded. "Let's go, girlfriend."

As she started the car, Grace thought she and Frankie were going to need more than luck and vodka combined to make it through this.


	2. Chapter 2

"Pet names," Frankie said.

"Pardon?" Grace said.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "We have to call each other something. If we were together, we'd have pet names for each other."

"I can't just call you Frankie?" Grace asked, eyes on the road.

"Everyone calls me Frankie. We should have a name that only you call me." Frankie wondered, now that she was saying this, whether Grace and Robert had even had pet names for each other. Robert didn't exactly seem like the pet name type, which was ironic, since Frankie knew he had one for Sol. Coyote had accidentally let slip that Robert called Sol "sweetheart," which had made Frankie want to cry or eat ice cream or cry while she was eating ice cream. Robert shouldn't be calling Sol "sweetheart." He shouldn't be calling Sol anything. Sol was supposed to be hers; that's what they'd promised each other. She'd kept her promise. Why couldn't he have kept his?

"If you have any suggestions, Frankie, now would be the time," Grace was saying.

"Sorry," Frankie said. "I got distracted."

Grace snorted. "You were born distracted."

"In my defense, if you'd just passed through a birth canal, you'd be distracted too," Frankie said. "You were saying?"

"What would you like to be called? Let's start there," Grace said.

Ooh. Frankie had never gotten to choose her own nickname before. The possibilities were endless. "What about Moondoggie?"

"What's that, a reference to the Zappas?" Grace asked.

"No, that's Moon Unit, and she goes by Moon now. Moondoggie's from _Gidget_."

"I am not calling you Moondoggie," Grace said. 

"If I'm Moondoggie, you get to be Gidget," Frankie said. How could that not be a win-win situation?

"Tempting as that is, no, thank you," Grace said.

Sure, stomp on her dreams. "Okay. How about cabbage?"

"Could you please pick something that doesn't sound like I closed my eyes and put my finger on a random page in the dictionary?"

Frankie wasn't sure why Grace was finding this process so upsetting. "Cabbage is a very popular endearment in France."

"We're not in France," Grace said, seeming to calm down a little. "But if you're really sold on cabbage, what about it in French-- _chouchou_?"

Frankie laughed in delight. "I love it! Sounds like something to put on my feet feet! Plus, it sounds pretentious enough for you to have thought of it."

"Thanks," Grace said. "I think."

"What about you?" Frankie asked. As organized as Grace was, she had to have decided on a list of potential pet names already.

Grace paused. "Don't laugh."

"Never," Frankie said. If it was really something funny, she'd save it to laugh about later when she did laughter yoga.

"When we were first together, I tried for years to get Robert to call me Gracie," Grace said. "He never would."

Frankie had never thought of Grace as a Gracie; it was a softer name. Had Grace once been a softer person? Had she wanted to be? Frankie had always seen Grace as a product of her own neuroses, but maybe she'd been unfair. Maybe Grace and Robert's negative energies had been what had bound them together, and their continued relationship had trapped them with each other and with themselves. That was so far from Frankie's experience of marriage that she could hardly imagine what it must have been like. "Sure, I can call you that. Gracie."

"Thank you." Grace looked shy and pleased all at once. Oh, Frankie _liked_ Gracie. Maybe she'd get to see more of her.

***

They had to park several blocks away for the reception at Larry and Sally's house; there was only street parking, and anywhere closer would already have been taken. Not for the first time, Frankie wondered how on earth Grace could walk two blocks in painfully high heels.

"You can take off your shoes until we get there," Frankie suggested. "It's okay. I won't tell anyone."

Grace shook her head. "I can't. I'd get a run in my pantyhose. Besides, it's armor."

Frankie looked at Grace. "Armor?"

"The clothes, the shoes...this is what makes me feel powerful," Grace said, gesturing to her outfit. "And I need that today."

"I get that," Frankie said, slowly turning the idea over in her mind. It made sense that armor would be different for everybody. She slipped her hand into Grace's, and after a moment, Grace gave Frankie's hand a tentative squeeze of thanks.

When the house was in view, Frankie could feel her heart starting to pound, and no amount of belly breathing seemed to calm it. She hung back.

At first, Grace kept moving forward at her brisk pace, but when she felt Frankie's hand pulling her back, she turned. "What?"

"Maybe I should wait here," Frankie said.

"Oh, no. This was your idea. We're going in," Grace said, turning to leave.

Frankie stayed put. "I can't."

Grace gave Frankie an exasperated look. "Why not?"

"Because he's in there," Frankie said. "Looking at Robert the way he used to look at me." She shook her head. Words felt so empty compared to what was going on inside her; how could she express the turmoil she felt with something banal like words? Sol's love had always been a tangible thing to her, something she could wrap around herself for comfort even in the darkest times. Now she needed it, kept reaching out for it, and it wasn't there. Her hands kept closing around empty air and yet she couldn't stop trying to find it. "And he won't look at me like that again. Ever."

Grace nodded, her expression sympathetic. "Probably not."

Frankie knew it was true, but she flinched at the answer anyway, making a soft sound in the back of her throat as she looked away. Sol could be in the same room with her, but part of him, the part she most wanted, was no longer hers.

"Frankie?" Grace sounded oddly uncertain. "What do you--what can I do?"

Frankie shook her head. "I don't know."

Grace lifted Frankie's hand, holding it in both of hers. "You said before you didn't want to be alone. You're not. I'm here. And if you're not feeling strong, I can be strong enough for both of us." Frankie looked at Grace, and Grace gave Frankie a firm nod. "I can."

"Strength _is_ one of your strengths," Frankie said. Even someone who'd barely met Grace would know that. Frankie could feel Grace's determination radiating out of her. Maybe she could borrow some of that, just for a little while.

"Good," Grace said. She leaned forward, resting a hand on Frankie's shoulder as she kissed Frankie's forehead. "Now, come on. Let's go be girlfriends."

Frankie managed a smile at that. "Okay." 

Grace continued walking toward the house, but less briskly this time, and Frankie kept pace, slipping an arm around Grace as they approached the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Out of habit, Grace immediately scoped out the terrain once they were inside. Sally was in the study, with a long line of mourners waiting to see her. Other friends and family were scattered throughout the house, chatting in little clumps. Robert and Sol were in one of the clumps, but Grace pointedly avoided eye contact with them. She saw Sol try to wave at Frankie, but Frankie looked away from him too.

Grace leaned toward Frankie, speaking quietly. "I'm assuming you'd like to pay your respects and go."

"You're assuming right," Frankie said, giving the line of people a grim look as they joined it. "Why are we whispering?"

"Because if we talk quietly and stay near each other, people will assume a certain level of closeness between us, even if we're only talking about number 2 pencils," Grace said, procuring something alcoholic from a passing waiter.

"You know, I feel bad for number 2 pencils," Frankie said. "Hardly anyone uses any other number of pencils, yet they can never be number 1. It's a cruel irony of life."

This was the sort of conversational tangent that had irritated Grace in the past, but for whatever reason, it wasn't annoying today. In fact, Grace almost felt like she was beginning to understand it. Frankie had feelings for and about everything. She seemed to have almost endless amounts of empathy, even for inanimate objects. "Is there such a thing as a number 1 pencil?"

"Sure," Frankie said. "And number 3, and number 4. The numbers come from how hard the graphite is; number 1 is the softest."

Grace stared at Frankie.

Frankie shrugged. "Art teacher."

"Ah," Grace said with a nod.

"Grace!" Oh no, it was Robert's sister Lydia making her way toward them.

Grace had considered the optics of appearing to be Frankie's girlfriend in front of Robert and Sol, but...she and Lydia were friends. Was she really going to lie to a friend of hers? Maybe they should scrap the whole pretense...but just as Grace was thinking that, she looked at Frankie. Grace wasn't good at emotional handholding, but when she wanted to, she was decent at reading people; as a business owner, she'd often had to. Frankie was pale, quiet, subdued...all things that, in the normal course of events, were completely un-Frankie. Add to that the vulnerability she'd shown before they'd gone into the house, and Grace knew Frankie was not all right. Frankie needed Grace, and Grace suspected that if she rejected that need at this moment, Frankie would never forgive her. She wasn't sure exactly when she'd started caring whether or not Frankie liked her, but it had apparently happened, and she cared right now. If she needed to, she'd explain the truth to Lydia later--but if she told Lydia the truth, Lydia would tell Robert, and their whole plan would fall apart.

"Hello, Lydia," Grace said, exchanging cheek kisses with Lydia before stepping back and draping an arm around Frankie. "You know Frankie."

Lydia, who was used to Grace complaining about Frankie, looked slightly puzzled, but quickly masked that with pleasantness. "Hi, Frankie." She didn't offer Frankie cheek kisses and Frankie didn't offer them either. "I was so sorry to hear about you and Robert."

"Thank you," Grace said. "It was certainly a surprise, but sometimes these things happen for a reason."

Now Lydia looked even more confused. "...do they?"

"Of course," Grace said. "If Sol and Robert hadn't gotten together, Frankie and I never would have."

Lydia, holding her smile in place with sheer force of will, said, "You and Frankie...are...?"

Frankie gave Grace a puckish, conspiratorial look that ordinarily would've made Grace wonder what Frankie was planning. Today, though, they were in this together, and Grace just smiled back at her.

"Why not?" Frankie said. She gave Grace a look that could only be construed as 'bedroom eyes.' "Gracie has a lot to offer."

Grace was blushing. She hadn't blushed since she was nine. "Oh, well..."

"I'm...very happy for you," Lydia said. Clearly this wasn't the way she'd expected this conversation to go.

"How are you doing, Lydia?" Grace asked. "How's your family?"

"Oh, well, we're having a shower for Constance," Lydia said, grateful for the change of topic.

Frankie brightened. "A baby shower? Can I bring smoothies?"

"Honey, we've talked about the smoothies," Grace said to Frankie. That was definitely not a lie.

"But they're so good for you!" Frankie said to Grace. She turned her attention to Lydia. "She'll love them."

"Actually, it's just a small group. Close family only," Lydia said, looking apologetically at both of them. Grace managed a pleasant smile, but it hadn’t occurred to her that she and Lydia were no longer family until this moment, and the revelation stung.

"Great! We'll be there," Frankie said.

Grace looked at Frankie, wondering whether Frankie didn't understand that Lydia was trying to let them know they weren't invited. Frankie gave Grace a mischievous look and wiggled her eyebrows slightly. She knew; she just didn't care. Grace hid a smile that threatened to give up the game.

"It's her special day," Lydia tried again.

"Of course! And what could be more special than spending time with her aunties?" Frankie asked.

Grace was trying to keep from laughing by biting the inside of her cheek. Hard.

Lydia was not letting this go. "We really don't want anything to distract from..."

"It's okay, Lydia. I know we're not invited," Frankie said. "Though you could've just said that."

But Lydia couldn't. Grace knew she couldn't. They were both playing by the same invisible rules--always smile, always be polite, always act friendly even if someone isn't really your friend. Although arguably Lydia was better at that last one than Grace was, since Grace hadn't done much to hide her distaste of Frankie from Frankie all these years.

"Maybe we'll catch up another time," Grace said.

Lydia smiled. "Sure!" But the way she said it, Grace knew they wouldn't. Apparently her friendship with Lydia was one more thing that hadn't survived the end of her marriage to Robert. She'd be lying if she didn't admit it hurt a little. "Good to see you, Grace. You too, Frankie."

Frankie pasted on her best smile and held it until Lydia was out of range.

"You were a little mean to her," Grace said quietly.

"She was mean to you!" Frankie said indignantly. "Close family only. What the hell are you, third cousin twice removed?"

"I'm not anything to her anymore," Grace said. "She was right. I'm not in her family."

Frankie gave Grace a sympathetic look, resting a comforting hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Grace said. "Lydia has her reasons. Their family is..." She shrugged. "Unique. Very Tolstoy."

Frankie nodded sagely. "Not the most populated place in South Dakota."

What? "I meant Leo Tolstoy. You know, 'All happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in their own way'?"

"Oh," Frankie said. "Sure. That Tolstoy."

Grace nudged Frankie affectionately with her arm. "Thanks for sticking up for me."

Frankie nudged Grace back, smiling a little. "You're welcome."


	4. Chapter 4

The line to see Sally was so long and moving so slowly that Frankie was beginning to feel like she'd been there forever. What was time, anyway? Had there ever been a time she hadn't been in this line? She thought so, but it was hard to tell at this point.

"Maybe we won't see them," Grace said.

Frankie didn't have to ask who Grace meant. "We'll see Sol."

"How do you know?"

Because she'd been married to him for forty years, and there wasn't a lot you didn't learn in that amount of time. Well. Other than the big thing she somehow hadn't learned in the last twenty. "He hates when anybody's mad at him. As far as he knows, I still am. So he'll want to talk to me and fix it."

Grace looked skeptical. "He thinks he can fix twenty years of betrayal with a five minute discussion?"

"No, he thinks he can stop wars with a well-timed group hug," Frankie said. "And the thing is, sometimes he can. He does it at work all the time."

"This is different," Grace said.

Frankie was uncomfortably aware of that. "You don't have to tell me."

Grace was quiet for a moment. "You need a hug, don't you?"

"I do," Frankie said, turning and immediately hugging Grace.

Grace was clearly not a person who was used to lengthy or emotional hugs, and under different circumstances, Frankie thought Grace probably wouldn't have accepted this one. She stood there stiffly for a moment. Then she attempted to hug Frankie back, which didn't feel entirely natural, but Frankie gave Grace a lot of credit for trying.

Frankie pulled away. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like this."

But Grace caught her and guided her forward into a second hug. "Come back here."

It wasn't like one of Sol's hugs--nothing was like one of Sol's hugs--but Frankie closed her eyes and let herself take the comfort Grace was offering. "I thought you weren't a hugger."

"I'm not," Grace said. "But you weren't done."

Grace had noticed that? And cared enough to initiate another hug, even though she didn't like them? Frankie wondered whether Grace's new solicitousness of her feelings was only because they were pretending to be together, but she decided she didn't really care. It was nice to be cared for, even if it wasn't the way Frankie was used to being cared for. She'd take it. "Thank you."

"Hello, Frankie," Sol said.

"Oh, shit," Frankie said, turning to face him. 

Sol frowned. "What?"

"She said, 'Oh, it's Sol,'" Grace said brightly, keeping one arm firmly around Frankie. Frankie was grateful for the support.

Sol didn't look convinced, but for the sake of social convention, he let it pass. "How are you?"

"Okay," Frankie said. Maybe if she kept her answers short, she could do this.

"It's a sad day," Sol said, nodding.

"You must miss Larry after working with him so many years," Grace said. Her cordial public face was on now, and nothing about this situation seemed to bother her at all; Grace was perfectly suited for these sorts of social gatherings. Frankie found it impressive.

"Well, he gave me my start in law," Sol said.

"He gave Robert his too," Grace said, the tiniest bit of an edge creeping into her voice. "I'm sure we're all grateful for that."

Sol nodded, but he clearly wasn't here to talk to Grace. Frankie wished he'd stop looking at her and expecting her to say something. She didn't have anything to say.

"Sol, why are you here?" Grace asked.

Sol looked startled by the question. "I just wanted to see how Frankie was feeling."

"I'm tired of how I feel," Frankie said quietly. "It seems like it's the only thing I think about or talk about anymore. I swim in it every day for hours and it doesn't do anything and it doesn't change anything."

Sol was quiet for a moment. "I knew it would hurt you when I left. I hated that. But I thought we'd reach a new equilibrium eventually."

"Eventually isn't here yet," Frankie said.

"I understand," Sol said.

Grace, who had been watching the two of them, finally spoke again. "You didn't think you'd lose her. Did you?"

Sol shook his head. "I didn't know what we had was loseable."

"Neither did I," Frankie said, looking him full in the face as she said it. "But you showed me it was."

Sol's face crumpled. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," Frankie said. "I'm with someone who loves me now."

Sol looked confused. "You are?"

Frankie leaned against Grace, resting her head on Grace's shoulder. It wasn't subtle, but Frankie was at her best being unsubtle. "I am."

"Oh," Sol said automatically. Then he seemed to understand, and his eyes widened. "Oh!"

"Your loss is my gain," Grace said. "Right, _chouchou_?"

Frankie couldn't help smiling at the endearment. "Right, Gracie."

She turned to kiss Grace's cheek, but Grace had apparently also turned to kiss Frankie, and their lips met. They looked at each other, lips pressed together, each silently urging the other not to look surprised. When they pulled apart, Frankie smiled at Grace, and Grace returned the smile, reaching out to tuck a stray tendril of Frankie's hair behind her ear.

"Okay," Sol said. "Well. As long as everything's fine here, I should..." He made a series of vague incomprehensible gestures as he searched for the right word, but not finding the right word, he gave up both the sentence and the gestures and left.

Frankie waited until Sol was out of sight to smile, and her body instinctively relaxed a little. "That felt good."

Grace looked a little worried. "I didn't mean to kiss you."

Frankie shrugged. "I didn't mind."

"No," Grace said. "Neither did I."

Something in Grace's voice made Frankie turn and look at her, but Grace looked embarrassed and avoided eye contact. Did Grace like kissing Frankie? Did she want to do it again? Frankie wanted to talk about it now, right away, this minute, but Grace's body language made it clear that she didn't. Frankie supposed she could wait...but going home today was going to be at least twice as interesting as usual. 

Frankie leaned closer to Grace. "I bet Sol's telling Robert about us right now."

As if on cue, she heard Sol yelp far too loudly in the other room, "But they have PET NAMES for each other!"

Frankie wanted to laugh, but funeral receptions really weren't the time. She glanced at Grace, who appeared to be just as amused as she was.

Good. Neither one of them was thinking about how sad she was, so their plan was working. And really, anything that could make Sol audibly perplexed from the next room was worth it.


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the reception passed in a blur. Grace and Frankie paid their respects to Sally and then tried not to be waylaid by any friends, which was more difficult than it had first seemed. Grace politely fended off expressions of concern from Robert's former coworkers past and present, while Frankie ended up explaining to the Feldmans how to make hummus. (Grace still wasn't sure how the topic of conversation had gotten there, but sometimes with Frankie, it was easier not to ask.) Grace caught Robert looking at her once from across the room, but when she'd responded with a haughty glance of her own, he'd averted his eyes and wandered off somewhere. Of course he didn't want to talk. He never wanted to talk. Grace was fine with that.

Finally, they made it back to the car. When they got inside, Grace leaned back against her seat, closing her eyes. Her feet hurt and her knee hurt, but at least it was over. She opened her eyes to find Frankie looking at her.

"Are you okay?" Frankie asked.

"Define okay," Grace said.

"I can't. I don't know what counts as okay for you," Frankie said.

"I'm not sure I do either," Grace said. "I'm okay enough."

"That's not exactly the same," Frankie said knowingly.

"No," Grace said. "But it's all I've got." She looked at Frankie. "What about you? Are you okay?"

"I think so," Frankie said. "It was hard being there without him...but it was better being there with you."

Grace nodded. "It was better being there with you too. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Frankie said. "Maybe we should make this a regular thing."

"What, going to funerals?" Grace started the car.

"No, going places together."

Grace turned to look over her shoulder as she backed into the lane of traffic. "We live together. How many more places could we go?"

"I don't know. There must be things you like doing out of the house," Frankie said. "We could go to the farmer's market and you could critique all the tomatoes."

Grace had to admit that she was finicky about the appearance of her produce, but mostly she kept it to herself. "And that would be fun for you?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried it yet," Frankie said. "Or we could do black light bowling. If you're not scared of wearing other people's shoes."

"I have my own bowling shoes," Grace said. She hadn't expected Frankie to be the type of person who'd like bowling. "What's black light bowling?"

"It's great! They have it once a week at the bowling alley. They have black lights and a disco ball and all the bowling balls and pins glow in the dark."

Ah. Now Grace understood. "And how stoned are the people there?"

"Come on, give it a chance," Frankie said. "If you go black light bowling with me, I'll go vanilla bowling with you."

Grace glanced at Frankie, ignoring the implications of 'vanilla bowling'. "Are you actually good at bowling?"

Frankie shrugged. "I don't know. I don't keep score."

Frankie didn't seem to do anything by halves, so Grace assumed she would either be very good or very bad at bowling. "Okay. We'll try it sometime."

"You're more adventurous than I thought," Frankie said.

Grace snorted. "Bowling isn't adventurous."

"Maybe not, but trying something new is."

"Adventurous" wasn't a word anyone would use to describe Grace--not Robert, and definitely not the kids. Grace knew where her comfort zone was, and she liked to stay in it. But Frankie had a way of making her comfort zone bigger, little by little. Maybe, in her own small way, that was adventurous.

"Okay," Grace said. "You've convinced me. I'm adventurous."

Frankie laughed. "Good. So do you want to kiss me again?"

"What?" There were times when Frankie's lack of segue skills led to very surprising changes in topic.

"Not right now. Obviously you're driving. I meant when we get home."

"Why?" Grace had assumed that Frankie would ignore her passing comment about it not being wholly unpleasant to kiss her. She should've known better.

Frankie sighed quietly. "I didn't mean to throw you into an existential crisis. I just wanted you to know that however you're feeling, I'm okay with it."

"I don't, uh." Grace was usually good with words in the moment, but she hadn't expected this conversation to happen. "I'll have to think about it."

"Okay," Frankie said.

They were quiet the rest of the way home. Grace missed Frankie's chatter.

***

After dinner, Frankie was out on the patio, sitting in one of the lounge chairs. Grace knocked on the door frame. There was no reason she couldn't just walk out there, but she wanted to give Frankie options about whether or not to have this conversation. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Frankie said. "What are we talking about?"

Grace sat in the chair next to Frankie's. "I didn't respond very well to your offer of kissing, and I wanted to explain."

"You don't have to explain setting boundaries," Frankie said. "Just because I'm not good at setting them for myself doesn't mean I don't recognize other people's."

"No, but..." Grace fell silent. "When I was in college, I had a friend named Summer. I thought she was the most beautiful person. And I used to think sometimes about what it would be like to kiss her."

"Did you ever do it?" Frankie asked, looking interested.

"God, no. If you can imagine, she was even more tightly wound than I am. She'd never have spoken to me again, and I couldn't stand the idea of that."

"Are you still in touch?"

Grace shook her head. "She got married. I got married. You lose track of people. Well, you probably don't, but most of us do." She paused. "I've thought about kissing women but today's the first time I ever did it."

"Was it nice?" Frankie asked.

"Yeah."

"Did it scare you?"

"Yeah." Grace looked at Frankie. "But I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of me. I'm scared of what it means if, at this point in my life, there are still things about me that surprise me. I thought I pretty much knew who I was."

"I'm not sure we ever finish learning who we are," Frankie said.

"And that doesn't scare you?"

"Sometimes it does." Frankie looked down at her lap. "One of the ways I used to think about myself was as part of a unit with Sol. I could see the shape of the future, and it went on forever with the two of us. Now it feels like the person I was with him is gone, and yeah, that scares me." She looked at Grace. "Is it the same for you?"

"I don't know," Grace said. "I didn't always like who I was with Robert. So losing that isn't so bad. But I am different without him."

Frankie nodded silently. Not for the first time, Grace wondered what was going on in her mind right now.

Grace moved to the edge of her chair, reaching out to take Frankie's hand. "I'm not Sol, and I won't ever be him. If you're looking for warmth, I've been informed enough times I don't have that to tell you you should go somewhere else. But...if you're willing to try something new with me...to see where things go...I think that could be good."

Frankie smiled at Grace. "I think that could be good too. Do you promise you'll tell me if I do something you don't like?"

"I don't know," Grace said. "I haven't really done that in a relationship."

"It's not a big deal," Frankie said. "You tell me when I do things you don't like all the time. Think of this as an extension of that."

Grace laughed. "All right. And...will you tell me...?"

"Don't worry," Frankie said. "I'm empowered."

"I'm sure you are," Grace said. She took a deep breath. This was new and scary, but she was doing it. She was in. "Okay."

"Okay," Frankie agreed.

They sat back in their chairs, still holding hands, and watched the stars come out.


End file.
